Getting UNStuck
What trucks and mud have to do with happiness and productivity.
A small rock was the only thing stopping our truck from rolling back.
We were ascending a hill that legally can’t be called a mountain, at a steep angle you can only find off-road, with only three of the truck’s tires touching the ground at a time.
And atop it all there was just too much mud for us to finish climbing the hill.
We were stuck.
But no one looked stressed about it, even the crowd that had begun to gather on the hillside cheered and watched with glee.
After all, in a roundabout way, this is why we were all there—to get stuck.
What Crazy People Can Teach You About Happiness
Thousands of people travel the world to be at an event like this.
Thousands of off-roading enthusiasts gather globally each year to socialize, show off their creations, and often—get stuck. Risking their vehicle, which for many of these people was also their home away from home. Or sometimes, just their home. And test it against treacherous trails, deep rivers, and all sorts of other terrain obstacles that sane people avoid.
This was an ‘all-in’ crowd and many of them would bring their daily drive on their trails—often leaving it there on its sides, upside down, or buried in feet of mud.
Most people would call this reckless.
But these off-roaders call it a good time.
And getting stuck is something they expect, plan and even train for, so they can keep having those good times.
Getting Unstuck the DVD
When one person in a family is an off-roader, that means everyone is.
Which means that everyone who is going to be in the vehicle also needs to be trained in case of emergencies.
Including me.
We attended these events my entire childhood and I remember being force-fed safety training on trucks from a young age.
Especially one DVD, whose title stuck with me, because I had to watch it over and over again.
It was called, “Getting UNStuck” with Bill Burke.
I had heard this DVD referenced so many times as a kid I thought that the man’s name was part of the title. And its title stuck with me because even then, I recognized it would be a good name for something else.
There were other old DVDs like ‘The Secret’ and ‘What the Bleep Do We Know’ so that’s probably why.
But when I was sitting in the backseat gripping the “oh shit” handle that had earned its name by being just about the only thing that you can do in the back of a truck that is rocking, tipping, and bouncing about in ways it shouldn’t—the lessons of that ugly DVD became very relevant.
And sometimes the difference between fun and danger is knowing which is which, and this old DVD taught me that.
In those moments that were too risky for kids to be in the backseat, or when something bad has actually happened to the vehicle, I was glad to know what to do…
How to exit the vehicle, navigate out of danger, safely unhook the wench, safely secure it to another’s vehicle or something better, how to apply acceleration to get out of the rut, etc.
And it was because of this old DVD, and the lessons it taught me through sheer repetition.
It toted wisdom for ‘on and off the road’ and many of its lessons were crucial for situations like this.
But the most important thing this DVD taught was something that it never said.
Good Advice: Don’t Avoid Getting Stuck
I was just unpacking some of these memories and realized, is getting stuck in life not the same?
To the off-roaders, getting stuck wasn’t something they avoided, even with the thing they valued the most in the world, and often put their life savings into.
They not only embraced it as a part of what they do, but they planned on it, and most importantly prepared for it.
Instead of hoping for the best, they equipped themselves with the tools to get UNstuck and trained themselves and their families to use these tools.
And most of being off-pavement means encountering some type of stuck.
It’s not racing, it’s slow and turtle-like but you can climb mountains that way.
How much in life do we avoid risks, or discomfort and instead become stuck?
Instructions for Climbing Mountains: Slowly
It can take some time, even years, to realize we’ve become stuck.
So, people avoid discomfort altogether.
But in life, if you avoid getting stuck, you get complacent. Which is like being stuck, except instead of obstacles holding you back—you’ve grown roots, which keep you from moving forward.
If that happens things get stagnant and that attracts real problems.
In all things in life freedom is movement, and that movement doesn’t have to be fast. It can be slow, turtle-like baby steps, but that’s all it takes to get traction.
And moving an inch is binary compared to someone who hasn’t moved at all.
Moving means making choices and taking risks, which is scary.
Because if you take risks, you might make the wrong one, and get stuck.
But if you take no risks, then you are stuck.
So, the only thing a person can do is learn how to get UNstuck for when they inevitably do become stuck and risk-averse.
But most people don’t have dads who force-feed them knowledge they may one day need, and even if they did what reference or ugly DVD would they give their kids to help them get UNstuck in life?
So, I thought about it and I think this 3 step process can help anyone embrace getting stuck as an opportunity to realign and create traction in life.
How to Get UNStuck and Create Traction in Life
1) Pause
Won’t I be stuck if I stop?
Surprisingly, no.
When you embrace the difference between pausing and stopping.
And even still, stopping strategically is not the same thing as being stuck.
Even the Navy SEALS have a motto for this, “slow is smooth and smooth is fast.”
Slow is what turns sharp rocks, thick mud, and danger into smooth.
Smooth is movement and movement is freedom.
But if you can’t go slow, then stop.
Pause. Reassess. And then move.
This advice doesn’t count for pavement—which in this analogy would be any time you’re in business-as-usual territory. Don’t just stop walking in a hallway, for instance.
But if you’re heading into the unknown, making big decisions, and taking risks…
Keep heading in that direction, but pause occasionally.
You’ll be able to connect with where you are. Too many people are “too busy” all of the time and they don’t pause.
Then they are surprised where they’ve ended up.
When you’re driving, you have the advantage of looking out a window where you’re going.
In life, it’s not so obvious when you get stuck. You can keep moving and going through the motions for days, weeks, or even years without realizing it.
It’s better to pause than make progress in the wrong direction.
So pause, and then ask the right questions.
2) Ask the Right Questions
After you pause you don’t want to stay stopped, you want to assess where the hell you are. On the road, this means checking your tires, figuring out why you are stuck, and perhaps if anything is broken.
In life, this is done by asking questions.
Wisdom needs a direction, and your mind will give you answers if you ask it questions.
The right questions.
Tony Robbins once famously said that,
“The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask.”
Now, if you’re stuck on the side of a hill that really should be called a mountain and your life is in the balance, the right questions are things along the lines of,
“Am I okay?”
“How do I safely solve this puzzle?”
“How do I get off this damn hill?”
If you’re anywhere else in the world, the right questions for you might be:
“Are my goals my goals, or somebody else’s?”
“Am I happy? Or am I waiting to be?”
“What could I be doing better now?”
“If I keep living this way, who will I become?”
“Am I appreciating what I have and who I am now?”
“Do those around me know how I feel about them?”
The right questions have a single purpose: they help you know where the traction is in your life.
If you’re off-roading, they help you figure out where safety is and which of your tires is touching enough of the ground to lean into and get you out of this situation and back on the path.
In life, the right questions help you connect with what’s important to you, here and now.
So you can make progress where it matters.
3) Get Traction
The problem with feeling “busy” when you are stuck, is that it feels like there are a million plates spinning at once and they’re all going to drop.
And the truth is, they might.
But it’s also true that some of those plates are more important than others.
And you can save them by intentionally letting the others fall.
It’s harsh but if you’ve cleaned up broken plates before, you know this way ultimately leads to less mess.
And so, if they’re going to drop, it would be better if you let some fall so that you can protect the important ones.
In off-roading, this is kind of a given, because not all your tires will be touching the ground and so it’s obvious where you should be looking. At worst, parts of your truck may well be missing at this point, so you’re going to make the best of it and have fun with what you’ve got left and whoever is there to enjoy it.
Again, in life, not so simple.
But the wisdom still applies: know what’s important to you and get traction there.
You can’t get traction spinning out, and you can’t get traction driving in multiple directions at once. Again, things that are worse than not moving at all.
This is why getting stuck doesn’t have to be something you avoid, consciously or unconsciously. It can be something you use, as it inevitably happens again, and again, as a given opportunity to continually realign with yourself.
But the only way to do that is by first realizing when you are stuck.
So, these opportunities don’t slip you by.
And when you seize them again, and again, you get to see if your answers to the right questions ever change, to ensure you’re still making traction where you’re able to and where it matters for you.
How We All Get Stuck
It’s normal to get stuck.
And often we are stuck in ways we’re not aware of:
Thinking the same thoughts over and over…
Feeling the same way, regardless of what we do…
Seeing the same results and patterns play out again and again…
The goal shouldn’t be to avoid these things.
If you do that, you’ll end up seeking novelty and new things and putting the new and shiny ahead of what you actually care about. The plates that matter.
The goal should be to pause and listen to your thoughts, feel the feelings, notice the patterns…
And then ask the right questions when you are stuck.
We get stuck when we’re unable to connect with ourselves like we should be able to.
Like checking in with your intuition, stress levels, questioning your beliefs, your thoughts, and the status quo in all ways…
Remember: it’s an opportunity.
But the first step to seizing it and getting unstuck is realizing you are and that it can be a good thing.
One of my favorite pages of one of my favorite books Be Here Now by Ram Dass describes this in a way that is hard to forget:
The first step to getting UNStuck is pausing and realizing you are stuck.
Only then can you know what the right questions are to ask…
And have the evidence standing undeniably in front of you.
Showing you where you’re getting traction, and where you aren’t.
So you know how to move and grow where you are.
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@Colton Swabb I’ve done a little off-roading … enough to almost click delete on this post. Then, I recognized that this was exactly the post I needed to read even though it pulsed anxiety down my arms. I've got at least one tire spinning on my new project and fear is taunting me. Thanks for providing a guide for regaining traction.