Lose the Battle to Win the War

In sales there are several motivators to get people to make a decision and take an action. These motivators are triggers of the human…

In sales there are several motivators to get people to make a decision and take an action. These motivators are triggers of the human condition.

The desire for status…

To grow…

To become…

But the strongest motivator of them all is the desire to avoid pain.

And advertisers like me know it.

Buy this cream to avoid muscle ache. Buy this insurance to avoid death. Buy this car to avoid the feeling of missing out. You get the idea.

However, I’m not writing this to tell you to watch out for sales triggers in your life. But more importantly because awareness of this primary trigger and its role in your life can be the difference between experiencing a temporary low and lasting catastrophe.

The difference between ebb and flow and a tidal wave.

In order to realize this you must first know that…

The Power of Creation Can Be Used to Both Generate and Destroy

I write frequently about creativity and more specifically creative power — the force we channel to bring our ideas into form. This power is what we use to generate, write and produce. It’s a force of nature and follows natural laws. And as such it has two sides.

The bright side of creative power is birth.

This is creation in its purest form. Creating something from nothing. Adding value wherever you can. Making meaning out of what was once overlooked.

The dark side of creative power is death.

This is the end. Curtains down. Silence hanging between notes of music. Air that echoes reverberate throughout. Space, through which planets dance.

It’s this duality that adds depth and importance to life. And it’s this broad picture understanding that allows me to oversimplify them as manifestations of pleasure and pain. Same force, different degrees. However, as people we are conditioned by evolution to prefer one side over the other, because it’s helped us survive. But not last.

The desire for pleasure is weaker than the desire to avoid pain. But living a life of feasting without fast, adding without subtracting, brings us out of balance. And creates the space for nature to overcorrect, balance out the creative power and in the process write us out of the equation.

Avoiding Pain Allows It to Accumulate

My favorite metaphor to demonstrate how avoiding pain (read: healthy destruction) allows it to accumulate is this one.

Every year there are forest fires. A danger by any other name. And a great threat to the ecosystem as we see it.

Humanity, out of our desire to avoid destruction will suppress these forest fires and prevent them altogether.

The trouble is, you can’t cheat destruction and knowing this fact the forest is prepared for it. Each time there is a forest first it burns the short grass down, chars the trees, and forms a thin bed of ash. Which acts as fertilizer for the remaining roots beneath the soil to grow again in the spring as strong as ever.

However, we see neither the roots nor the future. We assume all has been lost and that we must step in to protect nature. And in doing so we create watches to stop forest fires. We rush out with trucks filled with water and high-powered hoses to meet fire with force. In this moment, we win the battle. But lose the war.

Since a year, two years, can go by without a forest fire this way the grass grows tall, thick and unkept. Brush gathers, fallen leaves and flammable compost collect. A hoarding of resources that catch quick to flame.

So, when the inevitable lightning strike comes, and it always does, the forest fire is not a slow burn. It’s a flash burn, huge and hot that roasts everything even the roots beneath the surface. Leaving only catastrophe in its wake from which there is no return, and no regrowth.

The creative power had to be balanced with some healthy destruction, which helps things from growing beyond their means and out of balance with the collective whole. But when we try to avoid the temporary pain from which the forest could return from, we only made it possible for the inevitable to be devastating instead of a manageable lull.

The Secret to Avoiding Catastrophe

The lesson of this story is simple: when you find yourself in a temporary low do not make permanent decisions.

If you’re sad, don’t end your life.

If you’re sick, do not stress yourself beyond means.

If you’ve lost, do not destroy more out of a misplaced sense of justice.

Pain happens, often. You can never eliminate it. There is no day of progress without work. The secret is to enjoy it. To know it’s a part of the process, so you may as well come to terms with it and accept it. Let it become a part of you and your experience.

True meditators do not eradicate fear and pain from their minds totally. They simply establish such a strong basis of wellbeing that they handle it with grace when it comes, because it passes. It always does. As day follows night.

When pain comes lose that battle with finesse and sportsmanship. Know that you will have your day. Take your time in your low point to plan and scheme. Enjoy the fire and use its light to draw up new plans. Play the long game. Then, when the sun is high and it’s time to create again, do so with strategy and win the war.