There's No Getting Off the Spiritual Growth Roller Coaster—And That's a Good Thing
Learning how to steer from the seat through the ups and downs as you go round and round.
Hey guys, sorry for the delay.
Many ask after articles like this, “How can I apply this?”
After a while, I made a good answer for this—and I’ve been working on some trainings and tools to help you do that.
I just finished much of that up and will be sharing more in the coming weeks.
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Today I have a metaphor that came to me on a walk.
It’s a bit out there, but let me know if you like this type of self-reflective content.
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Everyone is spiritual.
Not everyone calls it that.
Some simply call it finding meaning, creating happiness, and seeking fulfillment.
Others simply feel their spirituality.
Everyone is Spiritual because everyone experiences growth. That growth affects them on multiple levels. And through all of it, and the many changes they experience, they endure.
Through the ups and downs, they’re still there.
Along the way, they discover what is good for them, what is bad, and why.
And they align with that, or not.
Call it what you will.
Spiritual growth doesn’t always look the same.
However, it often feels the same. And that matters.
In this letter, I’ll share some patterns of the windy paths we all take.
How those paths, while spiritual, look a lot more like ‘normal life’ than many think.
And some tricks to having a good ride on the Spiritual Growth Roller Coaster.
The Roller Coaster of Spiritual Growth
Personal growth, professional growth, spiritual growth—it’s all your growth, and it never ends.
Every ebb is followed by a flow. Every down with an up. Come with a go.
Life is a roller coaster of lessons as we go round and round, experiencing many colorful lights and thrills. And if you aren’t growing, those colors and thrills can become dull and grey and fade into “a succession of ordinary days.”
Instead of throwing your arms up around the turns, you can begin to dread them.
Even forgetting that you’re on a ride at all.
Some say we have no control in this, and that we are just here to see what happens.
Others believe they control it all.
What I believe is that we can control more than we think, and most of all we can control ourselves, our reactions, and our perceptions…
And that ends up influencing the kind of ride we have.
Not just in how it looks and feels, but also where we go.
The Trick About Mass and Downard Spirals
The trick to the Spiritual Growth Roller Coaster is knowing that mass matters.
Weight.
Baggage.
I’m not talking about getting a little puffy at the sides, but rather a heaviness in your mind, and heart. Or in an invisible space, that you can’t pinpoint.
The problem is, if you accumulate more and get heavier as you go round and round, you also go down and down…
So the ride continues but now you’re drilling downward.
On this spiral, your consciousness lowers, your focus narrows, and you disconnect with yourself and reality in different ways.
It gets dark.
The light above can shrink out of sight and eventually, you can forget you were ever above the surface.
You may even think you’re going to hit the bottom and that the ride is going to end, or has ended already.
But you discover that there are further depths you can sink to yet.
You can get heavier, and heavier and take on more and more, and plunge as far as you can imagine.
And discover there is in fact, no actual rock bottom.
No hard wall to bounce back off of like a Looney Toons character.
No hard limits to how far down you can go.
But…
Albeit painful, this experience reveals a more practical truth.
If the heavier you get, the further down you go without end…
Then what happens if you can find a way to get and stay lighter instead?
If there’s no bottom, is there a ceiling?
The Art of Zeroing Out
On the Spiritual Growth Roller Coaster, it matters how much baggage you take on because your natural state is light.
Weightless.
You can bring a couple of bags on this ride with you, like carry-on luggage, and still manage to enter an upward spiral.
Where the momentum of the ride works for you instead of against you.
The higher you go, the brighter it gets, and you get a higher vantage point and perspective that transcends most worldviews.
And way down there, you can see the heavy hole many get stuck in.
Maybe you remember being in it yourself.
Able to see the good with the bad.
Like the depths, the heights are also unlimited and there is no top.
But the more you take on, and haul more than your carry-on allowance, the more the physics of the Spiritual Growth Rollercoaster work against you.
You can’t let go of a weight if you don’t realize it is weighing you down.
When instinct says do more and be more, it can be counter-intuitive to realize that often lasting growth comes from the opposite.
Do less.
Be less.
See more.
In most situations Zeroing out is bad.
It means flatlining.
Being reduced to nothing.
But in your growth, you benefit from Zeroing out.
From letting go of as much as you can and realizing, you’re still here, and your ride still keeps going.
And, eventually, you realize there is a relationship between how much you’re able to let go of and the kind of ride you end up getting.
So, there’s:
No bottom
No getting off the ride
That means all that's left to do is enjoy it.
Easier said than done sometimes.
But even though you can’t control it all, there is tremendous power in realizing that as a passenger you can learn to steer from the seat.
Learning to Steer From the Seat
The roller coaster starts with ups and downs and at first, they’re thrilling.
Then they’re tedious.
And round and round you go.
Even when you think you’ve ascended all of this, you eventually realize: you’re still on the ride.
Even when you think all hope is gone and you can’t even perceive the differences anymore: you’re still on the ride.
It’s paradoxical.
And would you believe that a serious and strenuous approach doesn’t actually help?
So, you might as well learn to enjoy it.
And interestingly enough, learning how to enjoy it, especially when you think you shouldn’t be, is the secret to getting the kind of ride you want.
Here are a few tricks to doing just that:
#1: Remember it’s a ride
The ride is brightly colored, loud, and long.
As long as you’ve ever known.
For that reason and others, it’s hard to remember that it’s a ride.
It just becomes a part of the way things are… the background the story of your life plays out on.
The ride will take you to new places and show you new things. And eventually, you’ll question whether you’re on the same ride at all.
There are no signs labeling anything on this ride.
Nothing that reads out, “This is good for you!” or “This is bad!”
“Go here!”
“Don’t go here!”
“This works out well.”
“This will be a mistake.”
So, we add those labels ourselves. Sometimes we’re right, sometimes we’re wrong.
Sometimes we bring so much expectation with us or read so much into what we see, that we lose touch with it.
If you never realize you’re on a ride, you miss out on a lot of the life you could be living and enjoying it now while you can.
And there’s also danger in knowing you’re on a ride, but thinking that you’re above it.
#2: Stay humble at the top and proud at the bottom
Many try to steer from the seat, but most do not do it successfully.
Many try to take on more, and ‘build themselves up’ but never realize that it’s about mass, and sink.
Others, do, but view themselves beyond relief.
The thing about mass is that the heavier it is the bigger the relief it is to let go of it.
It’s easy to believe that it’s impossible to have a good day after several bad.
That a breath on the breeze doesn’t matter much.
But it matters what you say with that breath.
And the effect it has on you and others.
The truth is, a single moment and change and perspective can shift your momentum in life entirely.
It’s easy to disdain the ups and downs, especially as they become tedious.
But as you learn to steer from your seat, they feel less tedious and more like opportunities.
And eventually, you realize you determine how high your highs are, and how low your lows are, too.
With how you show up. At what level. And the influence you have on others and yourself.
A simple guide for this is to remain humble at the top, remembering how far down you can go and others are.
And when you’re down, stay proud and know it’s not the bottom.
They’ll both keep you buoyant.
Help you coast a crest, or pull anchor at the bottom.
And if you’re not at the top or bottom, the only other thing left to do is…
#3: Throw your hands up
“What am I supposed to do with my hands?”
Throw them up!
Enjoy the ride.
It’s moving without you having to do anything.
You’re breathing with literally 0 effort on your part.
In fact, you will stay alive with no extra effort on your part. Your body temperature will stay in homeostasis. Your brainwaves will stay in equilibrium.
For the most part, you’ll be fine and the ride will go on with no extra effort on your part.
Of course, you’ve got to pay your ticket price…
Eat good nutritional food frequently…
Drink lots of water…
Go in the sun…
But one of those prices is to simply enjoy the ride.
Have some fun.
Your body doesn’t make a noise if you aren’t enjoying yourself like it does when you forget to eat, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a need for you.
You have several seemingly ‘invisible needs’ which determine what kind of ride you have.
Love.
Joy.
Enthusiasm.
You’re a human being, not a human doing. And the reason why it’s a ride is not just because it goes on and on.
But because—it was designed for your experience.
Perhaps even your enjoyment.
There are many parts about the ride to disdain.
But when you endure those things you realize, it is still a ride and you’re still on it.
Eventually, you learn to expect it. It makes you brave.
“This too shall pass”
Then, it makes you optimistic, creative, and even powerful.
“It will get better.”
“I’ll make it better.”
If it doesn’t throw your hands up. Don’t make it worse than it needs to be.
And if it does, throw your hands up.
It’s a ride.
If you can enjoy the good, it gets better.
And if you can enjoy the bad, too?
People don’t ride coasters just for the slow build.
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Wonderful life hack! Thank you.